Caught!

I was downloading recent pictures of Kathy Olson and I in St. George when I came across these photos...

Ummm...

First of all who would take my camera without ASKING!!!
(It was my Dad's camera with the photos he took the day he died...I TREASURE this camera!) Second, who would be climbing a tree, THIS HIGH...
notice our balcony and the roof of our neighbor's house!

I would hope it's not this beautiful young lady because if it was I am sure she was not wearing any shoes! Sweet Jordan, let's remember what we do everyday except Sunday...SKATE, let's remember the last time you climbed the fence to that same tree you were taking photos from, you fell and received a few stitches!!!

St. George

Recently, I have made a few trips to St. George to visit Kathy Olson. It's a terrific get-away from this...(when I returned there was much more!)

and a wonderful welcoming to this...
Once I arrived, Kathy and Renee (many of my friends had her as a kindergarten teacher) took me to the St. George temple in the 65 degree weather!!!

I love my quick trips to St. George!

Costco

As I become older, I seem to enjoy simple outings with Jason. I do not like to grocery shop (at all) but will tackle this burden with Jason. My favorite times is going to Costco with him. At the beginning we would go once a week but with so many teenagers they quickly ate everything without pacing themselves. Our trips to Costco is down to twice a month with weekly stops to the local grocery store. The kids don't seem to freely eat everything at once! On Friday, Jason came home early and we were off to Costco awaiting a very tender, sweet experience...

Last year my mom found an old roll of film from my Dad. (We have found many old rolls of film but often nothing would develop.) My mom and I giggled finding another roll of 35 mm film, this time black and white. I really thought this would lead to yet another roll of nothingness. Mom still gave me the roll and told me to do whatever I wanted. I kept it in my bag for many months, almost tossing it on a couple occasions. It has gone through many airport scans and bad weather.

A couple months ago during a Costco trip I thought just what if....

I turned it in to be developed...and then I forgot all about it.

On Friday as Jason and I were driving to Costco (after stopping at Hire's for a large diet coke with lime and extra crunchy ice...) I saw a taco stand and this HUGE lump was felt in my throat and my eyes quickly filled with tears and I missed him...really missed him.

As we entered Costco, I remembered that roll of film and found these wonderful photos from FOUR years ago!!! It was December 2005...

It was like Christmas and I felt complete joy finding new photos of my Dad!

The Homer Tomatoes

As I viewed each photo with much anticipation for the next, I could imagine my Dad being upset with the Costco clerk for making them black and white...I doubt he knew he had black and white film!

This is his tomatoes he was so proud of!

I love the display of the huge ant, Tabasco sauce and wine!

The Den

I was excited about finding these photos of his DEN!!!

My kids LOVED spending time in his den.
There was always so much to look at...

and it was always growing...

Happy Birthday Missy!!!

Happy Birthday Missy!

Butterflies

It's been 16 months since I last spoke to my Dad and not a day goes by that I don't think about him. I have accepted the shock and yucky moments of grieving. My heart is healing and I have found some peace. I rejoice when I stumble across old photos such as this photo with my mom. Even though I am wiping away a few tears, I still feel his presence...and then I find this photo and it reminds me of this...

Dad wearing a helmet on a stationary bike!

Now, I am laughing and hearing him say in his spanish accent, "It's tea law!"

I felt much like a butterfly spending many long days slowly crawling through grief, tearful nights wanting to be wrapped in his arms and feel secure again...but now I have reached a stage of moving on and emerging into a stronger, faithful woman. I have read that butterflies are a reminder of those that have passed on and though I have yet to see one in Utah, I believe the symbol of a butterfly is to remind me that life has many stages and once we experience the different stages we end up being free of the pain, much like when a butterfly is finally free from the cocoon and flies away...

Cedar

The morning of Winter Formal

Mom: "Tanner, are you sure you don't need flowers for Winter Formal??? Don't you think Cedar will feel left out not receiving a corsage or a bouquet?"


Tanner: "No..."

10 minutes before Tanner leaves for the dance

Tanner: "Mom can you help me find some flowers for Cedar?"

Mom: "WHAT!?!?!?!?!?"

Only having 10 minutes and 5 inches of snow outside and no fresh flowers in sight, I had a quick thought and ran into Jordan's closet filled with stuff animals and fake FLOWERS! I gathered 3 together and made a bouquet!

As you may notice, all the other guys have beautifully wrapped bouquets or corsages. The fake flowers (that were thrown on the ice after a performance for Jordan) was a hit!

Thank you to Jordan's fans for saving the evening!

Cedar is Tanner's best friend. She is a female version of Tanner...hyper and funny! I am exhausted trying to keep up with their adventures. They are loyal friends! It hasn't been a terrific start to the new year for Cedar. He father recently died. My heart just ached as these two incredible kids supported each other. I was impressed with Tanner's maturity and how much he helped the family with a special video for the funeral.