Healing...

I was dreading today...would I stay in bed and cry, would I trace back every hour and think about what my Dad was doing this time last year, would I be angry or so sad that it hurt? I was surprised to end this day with a healing heart, no anger or sadness.

Through out the day, I thought what have I learned this past year...

1-My Dad still teaches me about life, even though he is no longer here.

2-I have a deeper understanding of spiritual communication...

don't worry, it's not like he is talking to me or I hear voices...

instead I feel his love. I feel his humor and comfort.

3-He has taught me about grieving and how you can't rush it.

4-My body does not come with a shut off valve for tears. I have yet to run out of tears.

5-I don't loose weight from crying, which I think you really should.

6-I like to eat when I miss my Dad the most...

which may explain why I don't loose weight from crying...

7-I still miss his nachos!

8-Losing my Dad and raising teenagers has brought Jason and I closer than ever.

I love growing old with Jason!

9-I am excited for Heaven and I dream about reuniting with him one day.

10-What I have gained this past year is how to heal...

it takes patience, acceptance, love, forgiveness and faith.

Today I woke up with all the kids at home. I made a huge breakfast before school (which is very strange for me) and had a nice morning with Taylor. At noon, Tanner was being honored for winning a short film contest in Midway. It was a state wide contest for students to make a short film about the importance of financial education for the youth. The organization is called Jumpstart. At the luncheon, they played his short film, presented him with a certificate and $300.00 dollars. Jason and I had a terrific time with him.

We should have dressed up but Tanner never discloses information until the day of the event or when we arrive. I was surprised how many people attended and how nice the luncheon was at the resort in Midway.

Jason returned to work, I came back to check on Jordan at the rink and then returned back to Midway to attend a bridal shower for one of my old high school friends. Amy Hutchins is an amazing lady and I had a wonderful evening catching up with old friends from Novato.

I can't remember everyone's married names, but the photo is of Nan Hutchins (one of my young women leaders), Amy Hutchins, Kathryn Taylor, me, Holly Hutchins, Lisa Hutchins and Christine Taylor. (I remember babysitting Lisa and Christine!) As always, Amy kept us laughing, really laughing and I am so excited for her new chapter in life! After looking at this photo, I realized I am really short...

I thought after the late night and excitement of last night's game, Taylor staying over, Tanner's luncheon, and having the 45 minute drive back home listening to my music and thinking about my dad, I would fall apart and cry...instead I just smiled and enjoyed knowing he is still teaching me lessons.