Reuniting...

The past few weeks have been comforting as Taylor has increased his time with us. He is living in a better place and making better choices. Of course, I want to scoop him up and keep him home but it will take time for him to decide what is best for him. We have shared wonderful talks and it feels good having him reach out to us. I found out last week he attended sacrament in a ward near his house by himself. I asked him, "What did you wear?" He said, "Don't worry Mom, I still wore my tight jeans (that don't cover his butt) but I tucked in my white t shirt..." I asked, "What made you want to go?" His response, "I just felt like it, maybe next week I can go with you guys." I thought, "OK" and left it at that...

Last night he called and asked to come over, he needed some help with a problem he had. We had a great time together and the plan was for Jason to drive him back to his friends house to sleep over. Jason was ready to take him when he asked if he could stay longer and just hang out. A few hours later, I found him curled up next to Jason sleeping. Jason stayed with him for hours, then left him on the couch for the night.

We have had some tender moments in the Home of King's...

Tagging...

I was looking through Carin's and DeDe's blog and noticed they were both tagged to go to their pictures and click on the fourth folder, fourth picture and post it on the blog...I typically don't respond to tag requests so lately I haven't been tagged because many of my blogger friends have given up on me. Tagging is right up there to the Facebook sending "hugs", "Christmas Ornaments", "drinks" etc. I can never figure it out. Even though I wasn't tagged, I was curious to see what was in my fourth file, fourth picture to post and look what I found...Carin and Tiff

Our senior year in high school at Disneyland!

It was Carin's first and so far only trip to Disneyland. The park is closed from 11:00pm-5:00am for only the seniors to attend. Boys had to wear shirt and tie and the girls were required to wear dresses! I wonder if Disneyland still offers that??? My fourth file is labeled "OLD PHOTOS" and the fourth photo was this photo of Carin and I. I must have scanned it LONG time ago...Sorry Carin, we are now labeled "OLD".

Happy Birthday Jason!!!

Happy 42nd Birthday!!!

I can't believe I have known this cute little red head for over half my life.

Fun Facts about Jason...

1-He loves to sing in the shower, fortunately he has a terrific voice, so many of us don't mind!

2-He is very forgiving and loyal friend.

3-He loves sour gummi worms, coke and renting movies at Blockbuster...then never returning them until I nag him. (I think he likes my nagging!)

4-He can sleep ANYWHERE at ANYTIME!!!

5-Sometimes I don't think he is human...maybe one of the characters from Twilight, he is definitely my Edward...but he does things that absolutely amazes me. He endures more pain than the average human with his brittle bones but yet will always have a positive outlook. He can stay up all hours of the night to accomplish a project and look refreshed in the morning. Jason can also survive on coke...the soda drink!

6-He is one of the best Dad's around!

Healing...

I was dreading today...would I stay in bed and cry, would I trace back every hour and think about what my Dad was doing this time last year, would I be angry or so sad that it hurt? I was surprised to end this day with a healing heart, no anger or sadness.

Through out the day, I thought what have I learned this past year...

1-My Dad still teaches me about life, even though he is no longer here.

2-I have a deeper understanding of spiritual communication...

don't worry, it's not like he is talking to me or I hear voices...

instead I feel his love. I feel his humor and comfort.

3-He has taught me about grieving and how you can't rush it.

4-My body does not come with a shut off valve for tears. I have yet to run out of tears.

5-I don't loose weight from crying, which I think you really should.

6-I like to eat when I miss my Dad the most...

which may explain why I don't loose weight from crying...

7-I still miss his nachos!

8-Losing my Dad and raising teenagers has brought Jason and I closer than ever.

I love growing old with Jason!

9-I am excited for Heaven and I dream about reuniting with him one day.

10-What I have gained this past year is how to heal...

it takes patience, acceptance, love, forgiveness and faith.

Today I woke up with all the kids at home. I made a huge breakfast before school (which is very strange for me) and had a nice morning with Taylor. At noon, Tanner was being honored for winning a short film contest in Midway. It was a state wide contest for students to make a short film about the importance of financial education for the youth. The organization is called Jumpstart. At the luncheon, they played his short film, presented him with a certificate and $300.00 dollars. Jason and I had a terrific time with him.

We should have dressed up but Tanner never discloses information until the day of the event or when we arrive. I was surprised how many people attended and how nice the luncheon was at the resort in Midway.

Jason returned to work, I came back to check on Jordan at the rink and then returned back to Midway to attend a bridal shower for one of my old high school friends. Amy Hutchins is an amazing lady and I had a wonderful evening catching up with old friends from Novato.

I can't remember everyone's married names, but the photo is of Nan Hutchins (one of my young women leaders), Amy Hutchins, Kathryn Taylor, me, Holly Hutchins, Lisa Hutchins and Christine Taylor. (I remember babysitting Lisa and Christine!) As always, Amy kept us laughing, really laughing and I am so excited for her new chapter in life! After looking at this photo, I realized I am really short...

I thought after the late night and excitement of last night's game, Taylor staying over, Tanner's luncheon, and having the 45 minute drive back home listening to my music and thinking about my dad, I would fall apart and cry...instead I just smiled and enjoyed knowing he is still teaching me lessons.

GO UTES!!!

What an amazing evening!!! I have waited for such a long time to spend an evening with my family, which means spending an evening with Taylor...and what better place then the TCU vs. UTAH game!!!

We had the best tickets, North Endzone, Row 1...

We had leg room, a comfortable fold out chair, and room to jump up and down each exciting quarter!!! No one blocked our view because we were ROW 1!!! Five of the football players worked at the Sports Complex during the summer with me and the boys. It made watching the game even more exciting since they played defense!!!

I know, Tanner and Taylor are in need of a haircut...I offered to take Taylor for a haircut and he agreed! He even respected my uneasy moments with his lip and nose rings and took them out while he was with the family. We have all lost our voices from so much cheering!

It was BLACK OUT game. Everyone wore black, including the players. Taylor and Tanner rushed the field. They were somewhere in this photo...One of the players that worked at the complex, who is one of the sweetest college kids, Robert Johnson, made the final interception in the last few seconds...My Boys...I can never stop loving them! Taylor decided to sleep over since it was getting late. On the eve of my father's one year death, I am grateful I have this evening to have all my boys home and to finally sleep knowing they are all safe for at least this one night. It's been a long year adjusting to losing my Dad and the horrible distance between Taylor and our family. Tonight gives me hope and comfort that I have not felt in a very long time...

Happy Halloween!!!

Halloween is really my least favorite holiday. I always eat all the candy and feel sick, Tanner is often bouncing off the walls from all the sugar and the kids leave all the wrappers around the house. However, my mother always creative, made terrific costumes for us. I was around 10 years old in the clown outfit. Mom had great costumes for my Dad...The last photo is of Cubby around 8 years old.

This year Jordan, Cordero and Tanner had their separate plans for Halloween Night.

This would also explain why I don't care for Halloween...
Tanner decides to be a figure skater...

As he was getting ready, Cordero states,

"He looks just like Tiffany!!!"

Ummm, don't know if that's a compliment.

Sorry Cordero...Tanner doesn't have my chubby cheeks but his hair is close to mine when I graduated from high school!!!

Jordan was trying to dress up from the 70's and De a diva...we will see how much candy they will get! Now Cordero, he is a smart kid...he knows better than to dress up at home because I would have posted it on the blog. He decided to dress up at his friends house!And of course, who could forget this photo...Dad sent it to me last year!

Dad loved spending Halloween with us. Every year Jason sets up a loud speaker and waits for the kids to come close to the door then he plays music and has voices that either scare the kids, make the laugh or sometimes cry. My Dad would sit on the couch and laugh all night long. He would warn Jason if little kids or big kids were coming. Oh, miss that man!!!

Kristi's Wedding

While our family was in Jackson Hole, my cousin Kristi was getting married in Albuquerque, New Mexico. My mom and sister attended. I heard it was a blast and they really enjoyed spending time with family! This picture is Karil with her cute daughter, Sammy and Missy.

I love this photo of Kristi. She looks so much like her mother, Aunt Sam. Yes, she has pink hair...her colors for the wedding were black and pink and only cousin Kristi could pull off wearing pink hair! I remember when I use to babysit her in Novato! Her and Steele have a cute little girl!

First Photo: Steele and Krisi cutting the cake...

Second Photo: Jeremy (Karli's husband), Karli, Missy, Uncle Ken, Aunt Sam


First Photo: Jayden and Sammy

Second Photo: Missy, Aunt Sam and Mom

Family Trip to Jackson Hole!

While Jason was announcing at the Northwest Pacific Regionals and Cordero was competing, Tanner, Jordan and I decided to tag along. We had a terrific time and the weather was perfect!

Tanner first arrived with Jason on Monday. He was quick to claim the cute loft upstairs with his own TV. When I went to check on him, he was surrounded by junk food and watching Aladdin on the Disney Channel. Still young at heart....in fact, since he decided not take his medication for ADD he was bouncing off the walls!!! Fortunately, he loved walking around the town and once he was tired of figure skating he would walk back to the hotel or explore!!!

I then caught Jordan downstairs watching the same show on Disney! She too enjoyed the break and this time attending a competition as a spectator. She still worked out everyday and wanted to skate. She met many new friends and enjoyed meeting Cordero's friends from Alaska.

Tanner and I had a chance to spend some time together. As we went shopping he found some friends that he couldn't resist to touch, even though the sign said "Please Don't Touch". He had to see everything and ran from store to store. I had a great time with him!!!

Jason was busy every day! We were able to sneak a breakfast with him one morning!

Tanner and Jordan did a very good job fighting with each other...this photo was taken after I politely yelled at them!

This is Tanner after watching a few hours of figure skating...

This is Tanner when I told him we still had to watch a couple more hours...

This is Tanner when I told him, if he held still and calmed down, I would buy him a new pair of ski pants...sorry folks, bribery worked!

Ahhhh, the last night of competition! I drove home with Tanner and Cordero...they are wonderful singers and I spent 5 hours listening to them sing and ask "Cha Cha" text questions.

Now, the best news is Cordero placed first in short, long and overall, receiving his highest points all season. He now advances to US Junior Championships in Lake Placid, New York. I will post photos when I receive them from his mom. Our family enjoyed spending time with Cordero and his parents...

I can't believe it, next month we will not be traveling! It will be our first month staying home since March!!!

The Party's Over...

It ended...it's over...it's sad!

It's OK Joe! I will always be a fan...

The Dodgers lost last night and it's time to move on...changed the blog to red for the University of Utah Football team...(they are winning). Baseball won't be as fun for the next few weeks. Cordero is relieved, he doesn't have to listen or watch the games on TV anymore.

Ohhh, it was fun while it lasted and I loved every game thinking about my Dad!!!

Taylor Update

He is improving his grades!!! We are currently in Jackson Hole and our family misses him

so much. It's strange not having him with us. He called me this evening needing an

address for a friend. We chatted for a little bit then said good bye.

Within the next few minutes, he sent me this text:

Taylor: How are you doing?

My Response: Right now I wish I could start all over with you. I feel an emptiness that hurts.

I love you. I want the best for you. I miss you.

Taylor: I don't know what to say.

My Response: That is OK. Just never be scared or feel helpless to work things out

to come home. I love you more now then ever before.

Taylor: Thank you Mom.

My Response: You are welcome.

They grow up so fast!

"Swollen Heart of Sorrow"

I was teaching Sunday School today. Our lesson was on the prideful cycle the Nephites continue to choose. Helaman sent Nephi to hopefully knock some sense into the Nephites and when he arrived he had a "swollen heart of sorrow" witnessing their wickedness. When I read this scripture, I thought it PERFECTLY described my feelings towards Taylor. I have moments when I feel angry, frustrated and sad but it's best described as a swollen heart of sorrow. No words to describe how much I miss him! I have hope in knowing it's possible to have a change of heart!

So other news...IT'S SNOWING!!! Absolutely beautiful, huge snowflakes are falling down and I LOVE it! I can watch for hours. This is our backyard...we will have much yard work once the snow melts later this week.

Jason is getting ready to leave for the Northwest Pacific Regionals (Cordero competes in this regional.) Jason was asked to annouce and we decided to make it a family trip. Tanner and Jason will leave tomorrow. Cordero will leave on Tuesday and not only compete but will spend time with his family. Jordan and I will leave on Thursday. It will be fun to spend time all together in Jackson Hole.

Last week I had a special experience reuniting with many old friends from San Rafael 1st Ward. A very sweet dear lady, Jackie Estes passed away and I was able to attend her funeral service. It was a beautiful service, surrounded by an outrageous amount of family members. After the service, I was pleasantly surprised to visit with my young women leaders and friends from high school. It wasn't appropriate to take photos but oh I wish I did.

Dodgers: Grrr..."Swollen Heart of Sorrow!" They lost their first two games. They play tonight and we are having an early dinner so we can watch the game with our blue power!!!

A Day of Sweet Victories!!!

She did it!!! Jordan placed 4th in her long program and 4th place overall, sending her to another exciting event - the 2009 US Junior National Championships in Lake Placid, New York. We had a wonderful time spending the past few days with my mom. After many, many hours in a cold ice rink, we returned back to Petaluma to watch the rest of this...

Dodgers won (spanked) the Chicago Cubs to a three game sweep.

Day Two at CP Regional Championships

It was good!!! Jordan skated her short program today. She skated well and finished in fourth place. Saturday she will skate her long program.

Dodger News...it's a beautiful thing, they won their first two games!!!

Central Pacific Regionals

We arrived and started competition on Thursday. There are three groups of Intermediate Ladies. During the qualifying round the top 5 girls from each group advance to the final round. In the final round, scores from the short and long program are added together. The top 4 skaters in the final round (Saturday) advance to US Figure Skating Junior Championships held in Lake Placid, New York in December. On Wednesday, Jordan practiced well and we all couldn't wait to connect with Grandma that evening. Jordan skated her long program for the qualifying round. Unfortunately, it wasn't her best (or close)...she fell on her double lutz, double toe, popped her double flip, double loop and was very slow. Now the good news is she placed fourth and made it to final round. The scores start all over tomorrow. What I was most impressed was her attitude. Was she mad when she got off the ice? yes...but she sucked it up and faced reality. She instantly changed her attitude and realized she messed up and she couldn't change that fact. As we watched the other skaters, she told me it won't feel great if she doesn't make it but she will be OK. No tears, a few regrets but a valuable lesson that sometimes situations don't always go our way. Once the results were posted, she was relieved and grateful for another opportunity to show the judges what she can do! She competes on Friday with a new energy and ready to attack!!!